Whether you have been with your partner for 2 years or 20 years, all couples can experience periods of staleness in their relationship. Below are 5 easy to follow steps to bring back the passion from the early days of dating.

 

Step 1. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language

According to Dr Gary Chapman, Author of The 5 Love Languages “Between busy schedules and long days, expressing love can fall by the wayside. We forget to compliment, to give gifts ‘just because’, to linger in our embrace. The things that say ‘I love you’ seem to either not get said or not get through”. In his book Dr Chapman goes through a series of questions designed to elicit your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect to others. Understanding what both you and your partner need to feel loved and appreciated is a key element to keeping your romantic embers glowing.

 

Step 2. Set Aside Time For Just The Two Of You

Whether it’s a date night once a week, or planning a trip away, time alone together to reconnect is a surefire way to get the spark back. There are some rules in this step to ensure the romance element is maintained:

a) Technology off (this includes phones, laptops, TV’s and other techy devices). Giving your partner your undivided attention is important in this re-connection time and technology takes our attention away. Even if you agree that it’s during meal times or while in bed together – having downtime from technology while you are alone together is an important rule to set.

b) Taboo topics – no talking about housework, jobs, finances or other topics that could end in arguments or frustration – the whole point of the time out for just the two of you is to see your partner as the person you fell in love with – not the co-parent or the co-home owner or any of the other roles they play.

c) It doesn’t have to be expensive – some ideas of date nights can be going for a walk together, a candlelit dinner at home, watching a movie on a blanket under the stars, going camping, playing tourists for the day and go on free local tours, the options are only as limited as your imagination and planning date nights or time away together can be part of the fun!

 

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. Oprah Winfrey

 

Step 3. Be Passionate

When you think about something that lights you up – whether it’s a hobby, going on spontaneous adventures somewhere new, extreme sports, reading your favourite book, listening to your favourite music, baking a cake, eating fine foods – whatever it is for you – do more of that! And even if you aren’t excited by your partner’s passion, be supportive and encourage them to do more of what lights them up. The more you can do what you love and encourage your partner to do the same, the more connected you will feel to one another. To build EVEN MORE connection as well as intimacy, find something new you can do together as a couple. Trying something new builds excitement which produces passion.

 

Step 4. Have Fun

When was the last time you laughed so hard with your partner that your face hurt? Too often these days we suffer from “terminal seriousness” – with all of the responsibilities we have as adults in our daily grind, life can become pretty serious without us even realising it! Laughter is so good for the soul and is the perfect way to create a romantic spark between the two of you. Just like date nights, finding ways to have fun and play together doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Some ideas are watching funny movies, having your own inside jokes, having a friendly food fight, playing a silly board game or even having a comedy night. Whatever you do to have fun and create laughter, get those endorphins flowing and you’re sure to feel closer to your partner.

 

Step 5. Touch More Often

Touch produces comfort, support and arousal both physically and emotionally. But touching doesn’t always have to be intimate touch – it can be holding hands, a tap on the bottom, resting your hand on your partner’s leg, or even a quick hug – touching is what takes your bond from a friendship to a relationship.

 

There are many more ways to reignite the romantic spark in your relationship – if you’d like to know more please get in touch via email support@amydeecoaching.com.au

 

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